A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, “A hamburger, fries and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s s yours?”
“I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order.
“That will be $9.40 please.”
And the man [...]
1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.
2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don’t have [...]
1970: Long Hair.
2000: Longing for hair.
1970: The perfect high.
2000: The perfect high yield mutual fund.
1970: Keg.
2000: EKG.
1970: Acid Rock.
2000: Acid Reflux.
1970: Moving to California because it’s cool.
2000: Moving to California because it’s warm.
1970: Growing pot.
2000: Growing pot belly.
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says,
“I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it’s today..”
The bartender says, “Well, since it’s your birthday, I’ll buy you a drink. In fact, this one [...]
